


Chasing Jim

by Caera1996



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: M/M, kink meme fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-08
Updated: 2012-01-08
Packaged: 2017-10-31 23:20:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/349444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caera1996/pseuds/Caera1996
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Answers the following prompt on the Buckle_Up Kink Meme: I would love to see Virgin!Kirk hooking up with Experienced!Bones. Jim loves Bones with all his heart... it's just the sex he's afraid of. So I want to see Jim come up with all kind of excuses for them not to go all the way. (I've got diarrhea being one after a long kissing/make out session starts going a little further than he is comfortable with.) Would love it ending with Bones getting Jim to trust him enough to Bottom for him. (Pls if there is Sex Bottom!Kirk is a must.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chasing Jim

This was still relatively new, this thing between them. They’d approached each other slowly…their friendship developing as they learned about each other, learned to trust one another, learned to lean on one another…learned to love one another. It’d happened slowly, and so fast. But it was one of those things that was just inexplicable – that they felt as if they’d known each other for longer than they had. That they just…belonged. And now, they were so much more than just friends. Not lovers. Not yet. But close. They were taking it slow.

And then Leonard felt like the time was right. He felt ready. And so, lying together on the couch, Jim mostly on top of him, Leonard trailing his hand up and down Jim’s back, he’d asked. And this first time, Jim had been so subtle about it, so…easy…that Leonard hadn’t thought anything of it. Just a soft smile, a gentle kiss, a brush of his thumb across Leonard’s cheekbone, and “I’ve got an early exam tomorrow Bones. I don’t want us to be rushed.”

And Leonard had accepted that easily, knew the truth of those words, and agreed. He didn’t want their first time together to be rushed. He wanted the time to get to know Jim’s body, what he liked, what drove him crazy. And it wasn’t something he wanted to rush.

But then it happened again. And again. And Leonard started to worry that there was something else going on. That maybe Jim didn’t feel what he felt. And finally, one night they were on the couch together kissing. Jim was an excellent kisser, and Leonard was completely caught up in everything about him. He slid his hands up Jim’s shirt, over his firm, muscled stomach and chest, then lower, landing on the waistband of his pants, his fingers pulling at the button. Asking if Jim wanted what Leonard wanted. Again. And as caught up in everything about Jim as he was, he didn’t miss the hitched breath or the slight stiffening of his frame.

Feeling that, Leonard pulled back to get a look at Jim's face. And what he saw there surprised him. Not panic, not exactly, but some degree of fear. It was gone in the next second, Jim taking a breath and nervously licking his lips as he looked away from Leonard's questioning eyes and pulled back slightly.

And Leonard, Leonard felt those carefully constructed walls come back up around him, to protect him from what he thought was coming, and to make it possible for him to want to stop making things worse. Because if Jim didn't want their relationship to expand in this direction, he could live with that. But he couldn't live with losing the friendship. Jim meant too much to him, and he'd been alone too long. He couldn't go back to that.

"Jim...if you...if you don't want this...don't want me...like this, please - just tell me," Leonard said, letting his hands fall away. "It doesn't have to be this, but I _have_ to know."

Jim looked up at that, a distinctly uncomfortable expression on his face, tightening his eyes.

"No, Bones, no!" he said quickly, taking Leonard's face in his hands and kissing him. He let his forehead rest against Leonard's and he closed his eyes and sighed softly. "Please don't think that. I love you. I'm just...not feeling well."

Leonard pulled back to look at him more closely at that, using his doctor's eye to evaluate that statement.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Uh...my stomach," Jim said, coloring slightly as he put a protective hand low on his belly. "Cramps. Take-out didn't agree with me. I'll just..." he gestured towards the bathroom and stood, making his way to their shared bath quickly, and closing the door behind him.  
Leonard sat there for a moment after the door closed behind Jim, considering. He supposed that could've been the discomfort and embarrassment of intestinal distress he saw on Jim's face, but he didn't really think so. They'd eaten from this place plenty of times and nothing had ever happened before. Besides, he'd eaten the same food, and he was fine.

No, there was something else going on. Sighing, he stood and gathered the remnants from their dinner, disposing of the empty containers and taking a moment to wash the utensils as he ran Jim's words over in his head.

He'd sounded sincere enough when he'd reassured Leonard that his reaction wasn't because he didn't want him. And he didn't think Jim would lie about that. Jim was a lot of things...brilliant, annoying as hell, surprisingly kind, a little bit arrogant...but he wasn't a liar.

Finished the quick clean-up, Leonard sat back down on the couch, prepared to wait. Something was wrong. They needed to talk, and they were going to talk tonight.

In the bathroom, Jim stood with his back to the door, eyes on the ceiling as he listened to the sounds of Bones cleaning up. He could hear him run the water, and he could picture him washing their forks...cause god forbid a fork be left in the sink overnight. He smiled slightly at that, the neat-freak streak just another thing about Bones that he loved.

Scrubbing a hand over his face, Jim tried to figure out what to do. He hated how...insecure...Bones had sounded when he asked if Jim wanted him. He hated that he made Bones feel that way. He didn't deserve that. And it wasn't even close to the truth. Jim loved Bones...more than he did anyone else in his life. He loved him in a way that he'd not realized was possible until now. He needed Bones in his life. He belonged there.

But whenever Bones tried to take the next logical step in their relationship, he just...panicked. And he pulled away. And he came up with excuse after excuse after excuse. And now he was hiding in a damn bathroom.

And Bones deserved better than that.

Leonard looked up when Jim opened the door to the bathroom. He glanced up, and then away. Leonard's brows furrowed in concern at how uncharacteristically uncomfortable Jim _still_ looked.

"Bones, I, uh--"

"We need to talk--"

Both stopped, and looked at each other, waiting for the other to continue. After a moment of silence, Leonard moved over on the couch, patting the cushion beside him.

"Jim...please. Tell me what's wrong."

Jim sighed and folded his arms over his chest defensively, keeping his eyes on the floor. Bones deserved that. He deserved an explanation, and not to have him continue to pull away without reason.

"I, uh..." Jim sat on the couch next to Leonard, meeting his concerned gaze for a moment before looking away again. "I'm sorry, Bones," he said quietly.

"Why?" Leonard asked.

"Why?"

"Why are you sorry? I just...I need to know, Jim. Are you sorry because you keep putting me off? Are you sorry because you're not sure how you feel about me? Or...because you are, and it's not how I feel about you? Please...just tell me."

Jim took a breath and tried to find the words. This was hard, and it was embarrassing. And it was something that he'd always managed to avoid before. But he'd never felt like this about anyone else. It'd never mattered before. It mattered now.

So, despite the fact that he could feel himself flushing hotly, he forced himself to look up, meet Bones' eyes, and give him the explanation he deserved.

"I do love you Bones," Jim said sincerely. "I do. Please believe that."

Leonard nodded, and reached to take Jim's hand. It was obvious to him that whatever was wrong, it was difficult for him to talk about, and he wanted to offer whatever support he could.

Jim looked away again, his hand tightening on Bones'.

"I've...never...done that," Jim said lowly.

Leonard was quiet for a moment as he absorbed that information. Jim glanced up at him, meeting concerned, hazel eyes briefly before looking away again.

And then... _Oh_. Leonard blinked as Jim's meaning dropped into place for him.

"You've never had sex with a man," Leonard said, wanting clarity, despite Jim's discomfort.

Jim let out a breath he'd been holding, almost without realizing. "Yeah." Uncomfortable, he pulled his hand out of Leonard's grasp. Leonard gave him a gentle squeeze, but let him go.

He considered that for a moment. That was...a little surprising. Leonard didn't engage in the Starfleet gossip mill, but he wasn't deaf to it. And Jim had never said anything to discount any of the stories. And he flirted. Shamelessly. And often. And Jim wasn't completely inexperienced...the man could kiss, and he obviously enjoyed that as much as Leonard did, when they were together. Not wanting to assume anything at this point, he gave Jim an encouraging smile, then asked, "Have you had sex with a woman?"

Jim abruptly stood and went to stand near the window, looking out into the dark night. He closed his eyes and rest his forehead against the glass. He still felt flushed and the glass was comfortably cool against his skin.

"Well, I've never wanted to, Bones. So...no."

"The stories..." Leonard started, and Jim snorted, turning to look at Leonard again.

"Do you know how easy it is to start a rumor, Bones? Let's just say very."

Leonard had more than a few questions swirling through his head right now. But really, none of them mattered, and they could be discussed later. What mattered now was that Jim had shared this with him - obviously not an easy thing for him to do - and now he looked like he was waiting for Leonard to walk away...or worse.

Leonard stood and walked over to Jim. He had his arms crossed over his chest again, again and kept his eyes down.

Leonard reached out and drew a hand down the side of his face to his shoulder, exerting gentle pressure and urging Jim to lean into him as he brough his arms up around him, drawing him into a hug. After a moment, Jim slid his arms around Leonard's waist, and he allowed himself to be held.

"Thank you for telling me. And I'm sorry if it seemed like I was pushing you."

"No, it's fine, Bones. You couldn't know. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

"Is...there a particular reason?"

Jim tensed slightly in Bones' arms. "Does it matter?"

Leonard paused before answering. Yes it did. If something had happened to Jim to make him averse to or afraid of being with someone, he wanted to know.

"It only matters to me because it matters to you," he said. "I love you, and I want to be here for you. But if you don't want to tell me, I'll respect that."

Leonard heard Jim let out a soft sigh as they stood with their arms around each other, Jim's head resting comfortably on his shoulder. He didn't have to wait long before Jim reached his decision.

"It's...not something I talk about," he said. Leonard stayed quiet, waiting to see if that would be the case with him. "It's not all that important, Bones. Mostly, I haven't been with anyone because I'd not met anyone I wanted to take that risk with."

Leonard pulled back at that, looking into Jim's eyes. He still looked guarded and wary, still unsure of how Leonard was going to react to him...and the situation they were in now. But Leonard wasn't even thinking about that. He was wondering what had happened to Jim to make him feel like being with someone was a risk - and what kind of risk he meant. Physical? Emotional? Both? Jim didn't seem to realize his choice of words were troubling, in and of themselves. And that said a lot more to Leonard than anything else.

"Okay, Jim. It's okay. You don't have to tell me. But...if you ever want to, I'm here."

Jim nodded. "Thanks Bones. That...means a lot." He cast his eyes around the small living area, looking everywhere but at Leonard. "So...I guess I'll go."

"Go? Why?"

Jim shrugged, moved past Leonard and began collecting some of the items that had accumulated in Leonard's room over the past days. Jim had taken to staying there, sleeping on the couch, or, more recently, sharing Leonard's bed.

"Jim, you don't have to go. I don't want you to go. Stay."

Jim paused and looked up at him. "You want me to stay? Why?"

"Why? Don't be an idiot. Why wouldn't I? Nothing has changed for me, about the way I feel about you. Have your feelings about me changed?"

"Well, no but..."

"But nothing." Leonard took the PADDs out of Jim's hands and brushed a thumb across his cheek. Leaning in, he pressed his lips to Jim's, and after a moment felt him relax, his arms again going around Leonard's waist. "You don't have to go," Leonard murmured when they pulled apart to breathe. "And you don't have to do anything you don't want to."

"I just didn't think you'd want me to stick around if I can't...do...whatever," he mumbled, blushing.

Leonard smiled a little and hugged Jim to him. "I want you to stick around no matter what, kid," he said. "The rest will work itself out."

"How can you be so sure about that?" Jim asked.

Leonard gave him a fond look. "Because you told me. If you didn't care enough to want something to change, you never would've said anything. But you did. And wanting something to change is the first step to actually changing. So, yeah, I'm sure the rest will work itself out." He paused, and waited for Jim to look at him again. "But Jim, if it doesn't...that's okay too. You're not going to lose me over this. I'm not going anywhere."

Jim wanted to believe that. So much. And Bones sounded so certain. But he didn't have a very good track record with people he thought he could trust in his life. It'd been a while since he bothered trying to trust anyone. Up to now, no one was worth it.

Bones was worth it.

"So will you stay?" Leonard asked quietly.

Jim looked at him, a small smile on his face, and looking a little less stressed than he had earlier, and nodded. "Yeah."

"Good. So...come on," Leonard said, taking Jim's hand and gently pulling, leading him towards the partitioned sleeping area. "It's late, and I'm tired. Let's lay down."

"Bones..." Jim said, a little uncertainly.

"Jim. Nothing has to change. We've slept together before. Let's just...go to bed. Okay?" Leonard said, recognizing that Jim probably felt more than a little raw after his admission, and wanting to alleviate that as much as possible.

Jim swallowed, simultaneously feeling uncharacteristically self-conscious and absolutely ridiculous. There was no reason for him to.

"Okay."

They undressed, letting their clothes fall where they lay, down to their t-shirts and boxers. Leonard pulled back the blankets and lay down, holding an edge of the blanket up in invitation. After a moment Jim joined him, and they settled down together.

They turned towards each other, and Leonard reached out to him pulling him close. Jim glanced up at Leonard, meeting his eyes briefly before looking away again, still feeling a little off-kilter, a little exposed.

But what Bones had said was true. He did want something to change for him. He wanted to be able to let Bones in his life. He wanted to try.

Looking back up at him, Jim licked his lips nervously and placed a hand on the side of Bones' face. Holding Jim's gaze, Bones leaned in and kissed Jim. Gently at first, then with more pressure as Jim opened for him. Bones wound an arm around Jim's shoulders, holding him, and Jim did the same.

He found it so easy to do this, to share at least this much with him. And it felt so good, to be held like this. And so right...like he belonged there. And he wanted more.

"Bones," Jim whispered against his lips. Leonard opened his eyes and gave him a searching look. Jim flushed slightly, but met his gaze, and Leonard recognized what he saw there.

"Jim," Leonard said quietly. "You don't have anything to prove."

"I know," Jim quickly replied, not wanting Bones to think he was motivated by anything other than desire. "I'm not trying to prove anything. I just..." he bit his lip and looked up at Leonard. "I want to be with you." He held Leonard's eyes, even as the light blush that colored his face darkened.

Leonard smiled slightly, searching Jim's eyes, looking for confirmation that Jim wanted this for himself, and not because he thought it was what Leonard wanted. Finally he said, "I want to be with you too, Darlin'. But only if it's what you want. So if anything changes, you tell me. Got that?"

Not trusting his voice, Jim nodded, then took the initiative and kissed Leonard again, deeply and with all the passion of a kiss meant to arouse. Leonard moaned into the kiss, feeling Jim's tongue stroking his, and when they parted to breathe, they breathed into each other.

Leonard slipped a hand up Jim's shirt, gently stroking soft skin over hard muscle, relishing the feel of Jim under his hands.

"Off?" Leonard asked, tugging at the shirt.

"Yeah," Jim said breathlessly. He helped Leonard tug the garment over his head, then reached to do the same to him. Now chest to chest, skin to skin, Jim had to take a breath and hold it, even as he and Leonard held each other. It was just all so much already, being with Bones like this, knowing what they planned to do. He felt his heart racing and he squeezed his eyes closed, hiding in the embrace.

"Hey," Leonard said, moving one hand up to cup the back of Jim's head, the other drawing softly up and down Jim's back. He felt Jim clinging to him, the way he was holding on different from a simple hug. The position they were in didn't allow Leonard to see Jim's face, and when he tried to pull away enough to get a look at him, Jim tightened his hold, shaking his head.

"I'm okay," Jim said, his voice a little shaky with the force of his heartbeat. "I just need a minute."

"Darlin' we can take all the time we want," he said, keeping his voice pitched soft and soothing as he stroked Jim's back. "And we can do whatever you want. Even just this...this is real nice."

Jim didn't answer, though he did tighten his arms to squeeze Bones slightly and let him know that he heard, and appreciated, him. He concentrated on calming himself, his breathing slowing slightly. He didn't know why he felt so nervous, so overcome all of a sudden. But he didn't want it to stop them.

"Okay," he said, after another moment. "I'm okay." He pulled away enough so that Bones could see him. "I want to do this with you, Bones. But, I - I'm not..." his boldness buckling a little, Leonard nodded, understanding.

"I know Jim...let me."

Jim nodded, took another breath and let it out slowly, and made a conscious effort to relax, and Leonard felt it as some of the tension that he'd been holding in his muscled frame seeped away.

He urged Jim to lay on his back, and he did, his chest rising and falling with quickened breaths as he met Leonard eagerly in another kiss. Bones smiled at him, his eyes warm and loving. He kissed Jim's jaw and neck, smiling a little at the sigh from Jim as he worked his way down.

"You ever touch yourself here?" Leonard asked, fingers gently rubbing one of Jim's nipples. Jim felt himself flush again and shook his head as he gave a one-shouldered shrug.

"I guess," he murmured. Leonard glanced up. Jim had his eyes closed, his full lips slightly parted as he breathed quickly. Some of that was definitely arousal, but it was obvious he was still nervous. He didn't want Jim to be nervous. He wanted him to be able to enjoy everything about what they were doing, and he felt that not knowing why Jim had always pulled away put him at a distinct disadvantage.

He kissed Jim softly, still rolling Jim's nipple and circling the dusky flesh with the pads of his fingers with one hand, the other find Jim's and holding him.

Jim gasped as Bones broke the kiss, again moving down his neck, to his chest, to tongue the nipple he'd been worrying with his fingers. The feel of Bones' hot, wet, soft tongue licking over that sensitized flesh making him furrow his brow at the unexpectedly intense feel of it. Touching himself had never felt like _this_.

"Uh, oh...Bones," Jim moaned, turning his head as his hips thrust up slightly. He brought one hand to Leonard's head, cupping it gently as his grip tightened on the other. Leonard switched sides, finally releasing the first nipple to give the other some attention.

"Can I touch you?" Leonard asked after a couple of moments, letting go of Jim's hand to gently pull at the waistband of his boxers.

"Yeah," Jim said after a moment of hesitation. Hearing that, Leonard didn't pull his boxers down, but felt him through the thin material. He was gratified to feel that Jim was more than half hard, despite his obvious nervousness. Bones massaged him, gently squeezing. Jim responded quickly, hardening further. He rubbed his fingers over the ridge of the head, urging wetness from the tip and circling the damp spot with a tickling, teasing touch.

Jim hips thrust slightly and Leonard listened with relish to the noises Jim was making, gasping and occasionally grunting, until finally,

"Bones, please...I need more!" Jim pressed his hips up, begging for a firmer touch.

Leonard abandoned Jim's chest and captured Jim's lips in a hard, demanding kiss as he slipped his hand into Jim's boxers, finally taking him in hand.

Jim cried out at the feel of it, gripping Leonard tightly as his hips thrust uncontrollably a few times. Leonard just followed his movements, holding him without any friction.

Jim settled slowly, fine tremors coursing through his body as Leonard gently drew a loose fist over his hard shaft.

"Bones, want to see you, too," Jim said, pulling at Bones' boxers. Leonard kissed him again, and sat up to quickly give Jim what he wanted. Jim watched with a heated gaze as Leonard pulled his final item of clothing off, and then Jim did the same.

"See what you do to me," Leonard said as he moved to straddle Jim, urging him to lie down again. He held himself over Jim's body, looking into his eyes and seeing none of the earlier nervousness anymore. Jim flushed, lowering his lashes and looking away with small smile.

He reached for Leonard and pulled him down into another kiss, groaning as they touched. Leonard kneeled up and stretched to reach for the bottle of lube in his bedside drawer. He sat on his heels, supporting himself over Jim as he poured some of the slick liquid into his palm. Jim watched him with heavy-lidded eyes, more aroused than he'd ever been. This was unlike anything he'd ever felt, and he couldn't imagine sharing it with anyone else.

They both groaned when Leonard closed his hand around both of them. He stroked slowly, making Jim roll his hips up into his grip, impossibly hard and aching. He cried out and arched his head back on the pillow as Leonard circled the crown of Jim's cock with his thumb.

"Oh, god, Bones, _please_!" Jim whined, thrusting his hips into Leonard's grasp. Breathing hard and sweaty with exertion, Jim wrapped his legs around Leonard's and clung to him, arching against him.

"Please what?" Leonard asked, kissing Jim, rocking against him. "Tell me what you want."

"I...oh, uh..." Jim shivered as Leonard let his thumb brush over the head of his cock again. "I want _you_ , Bones. Please."

"You got me, Darlin'. Always." Leonard let go of Jim, making him whine at the loss, and reached for the lube again. He coated his fingers and gently brushed them along Jim's ass, brushing over his hole. Jim gasped, his body stiffening, his muscles tightening at the touch.

Leonard didn't pull away, but he stopped and pulled back, looking at Jim carefully. "Jim...tell me if you want me to stop."

Jim swallowed and tried to think around the arousal coursing through his body. Did he want that?

Everything they'd done so far was amazing...Bones was amazing. It was so intense to be touched like that by someone else. And that was new - up until now, no one had touched him like that, with such care and such love. But what they'd done so far was familiar.

But what Bones was asking now...could he do that? He felt Bones shift over him, withdraw his hand as his silence continued, and he flushed in embarrassment, closing his eyes and turning his head.

"Hey," Leonard said, leaning over him to kiss him softly. "Don't hide from me, Darlin'. Tell me what you want." Jim turned his head back, and took another second to open his eyes, finding it difficult to meet Bones' intense, concerned gaze.

"I-" Jim swallowed, trying to calm his racing heart and get himself to relax again. "I'm not sure," he admitted. "I'm sorry..."

"No, hey, no...you don't have anything to be sorry about. Whatever you want is what I want."

Leonard held him tenderly as they kissed, and wrapped in Bones' arms as he was, Jim felt loved and cared about, and like he could stay like this forever. And like no matter what he decided, it really would be okay.

"I think...I think I'd like to try it," Jim said, flushing again. Leonard gave him an encouraging smile, recognizing the amount of trust Jim was putting in him.

"Okay," he said. "But tell me if you want me to stop. Any time, Jim."

Jim nodded and Leonard reached for the lube again. He poured more in his hand, gave Jim a couple of strokes that made him gasp. Again, Leonard reached lower, slick fingers passing over the tight muscles of his opening. Jim jerked at the unfamiliar touch, his hands clenching as he pushed his heels into the mattress, legs stiffening.

"Shh..." Leonard soothed. "Try to relax for me, Darlin'."

And he did. He tried. He took a couple of deep breaths and tried to collect all of his tension, all of the nervousness he felt now, in his chest and arms, one hand clenched on the pillow beneath his head, the other twisted in the sheets.

Lying at his side, one leg thrown over one of Jim's, Leonard urged Jim to relax his grip on the pillow and hold his hand instead. Jim did, gripping him tightly, and turned his head to meet his eyes as Leonard circled the nerve-packed area with gentle strokes, each one making his cock twitch.

After a couple of minutes, Leonard carefully pushed, urging Jim's body to let him in. Jim held his breath and squeezed his eyes closed, forcing himself to stay still.

"You okay, Jim?" Leonard asked.

Jim nodded, "Yep," he said, voice tight with tension.

Leonard frowned slightly, not liking the stress he could hear in his voice. "If you push out, it'll be a little easier. Just relax Darlin'." Leonard continued to murmur encouragement, and Jim kissed him, trying to focus on that instead of what Bones was doing.

Leonard gently eased a finger into Jim, pausing as his body tightened. He waited patiently, kissing Jim and stroking down his back soothingly. He stroked Jim inside, smiling when he felt Jim jerk again, and make a sound of surprise.

"Oh...god!" Jim said, shivering as Leonard stroked over his prostate again and again. "Oh, _fuck_! Bones...th-that's... _uh_!"

"That's your prostate, Jim," Leonard said. He carefully worked another finger inside, pausing again when Jim's face registered discomfort. It passed quickly, and Leonard continued to stimulate him, inside and out. He relished the sounds Jim was making as the nervousness dissipated and he lost himself in sensation.

Freeing his other hand from Jim's grip, Leonard took hold of Jim's hard, straining cock loosely, and gave him a couple of strokes that had him crying out and arching into the touch. Jim's belly and Leonard's hand was covered with precum, and he used that to further lubricate the head with his fingers.

"Bones," Jim gasped, trembling with need. "Please!"

Leonard covered himself in lube, so turned on by the man laying before him he had to be careful not to make himself come. He poured more lube on Jim, gently thrusting his fingers in and out of his body, introducing another finger and carefully stretching Jim open further, wanting this to be as easy and pleasurable for him as possible.

Flushed with arousal, breathing hard and shaking with need, Jim brought his legs up, giving Leonard more room as he pressed his head back onto the pillow. He watched as Leonard carefully prepared him, surprised at how...unselfconscious...he felt. How cared for...how loved.

He should've known. He should've trusted that it would be like this with Bones. In this moment, he couldn't even remember what he'd been so afraid of - why he spent so much time protecting himself.

He didn't need to do that anymore.

"Jim," Leonard said, leaning over him and kissing him deeply. Jim reached for him, carding his fingers through his hair. "Don't tense up, okay? Push out, and that'll make it a little easier. Okay?"

"Yeah," Jim asked. He smiled, raising his head to kiss him again. "I love you."

Leonard looked down at him, so much in his eyes, kissed him again and eased himself into Jim's body.

"I love you too," he said around Jim's gasp. Leonard paused, then gently rocked himself back and forth, pushing a little further into Jim's body with each careful thrust forward.

"Oh...uh...Bones..." Jim clutched at his arms, the initial discomfort of entry over before he even really registered it, Bones had prepared him so well.

Leonard forced himself to take it slow, the slick slide of skin on skin making him want to push harder. He resisted, until Jim lifted his legs and wrapped them around Leonard's slim hips, pulling him in harder and thrusting to meet each stroke.

Leonard slid his arms under Jim's shoulders, and held him, kissing every part of him he could reach. Breathing hard, moaning, pleading with each other for _more, faster, harder_...

Jim clutched Leonard to him and arched under him, the pleasure almost too much. Leonard thrust again, and again, and then went still, shaking with the force of his orgasm as it rolled over him in wave after wave.

Before it was even over, he reached between them and stroked Jim firmly, and the next second he was coming, too, crying out and arching against him over and over. Bones gasped as Jim's body contracted around him, the additional stimulation almost too much.

Jim settled slowly, and Leonard let his body relax. He breathed hard, kissed Jim between gasping breaths. Their bodies still connected, sparks of sensations skittered across their nerves making them twitch with sensitivity.

"Oh, god, Bones," Jim moaned, his breath still shaky. Leonard didn't answer, but kissed him again, waiting for them to settle a little, gentling Jim with soft touches and quiet murmurings.

After another couple of seconds, Leonard carefully pulled out, kissing Jim again in apology when he winced in discomfort.

"Sorry, Darlin'," he whispered. Jim just shook his head, keeping his eyes closed, completely overcome.

Leonard arranged them comfortably, holding Jim, listening to his breathing even out as he stroked his hair, down his back, gently squeezed at the base of his skull.

Jim had so much he wanted to say. So much. To tell Bones again and again he loved him, to apologize for not trusting him before, to admit why he'd been so hesitant and assure Bones that he'd never feel that way again. To tell him that was more than he'd ever imagined it could be.

He wanted to say all of that, and more, but couldn't. And Leonard, Leonard seemed to hear at least some of it in his ragged breaths, feel in in the way Jim held him too.

"Shh...it's okay. I love you too, Jim. So much. I'm here...I'll always be here."


End file.
